First Short Response Paper Interpersonal Communication Analyzing the idea of self-concept; which encompasses the ideas of values, attributes, and beliefs that all add up to create the individual that I have become; I consider the progress that I have made thus far. See, I believe that I have transitioned to become a different woman that has very different beliefs and values in different arenas of life. According to the book, self-concept is defined as a multi-structural aspect that refers to the perception that one has of oneself.
When I was a younger girl, my core belief structure was doing activities, jobs, and experiments that allowed for an increase in my growth, basically activities that I only benefitted from. My major basis for living was achieving goals that would allow me to become an instrumental individual in the world. Although my core belief is unchanged (achieving major success and growth) my underlying goal has changed dramatically. My overall goal for myself is becoming a lady who has instrumental impact on the lives of others which will in turn allow me to grow by seeing the progress in others.
In exploring my belief structure, I find myself adhering to a core principle “Doing unto others, the way that you would want them to do to you”. For me to continue to achieve this belief, I have adapted a positive, optimistic, driven, goal-oriented, self-sustaining, and independent attitude. While these sounds like positive characteristics, some negative traits have hindered me in achieving my major goal. These include being overly driven, under valuing the opinions’ of others, over analytical, and unsatisfied with specific aspects of my life.
In surveying my attributes, I defined myself as a positive individual, which has been reflected about in my high level of self-esteem. I understand that for me to go to the next level, my negative attributes have to become opportunities that will increase my self-concept and further my self-esteem. The idealistic individual I hope/wish to become is an individual who is able to connect with other individuals on a level that is far beyond race, gender, and ethnicity.
Of course, similar to all women, I want to achieve the physical element that I hope and dream (The swim suit models, magazine models, and the women that everyone turns their head when they walk into a room). Another aspect is my level of materialistic dependency, I consider myself highly dependent on having many different things. When I see another individual with something, I automatically feel that I need the “items” that they have, considering that it will make me happy. My ideal self would exclude the material dependency that I have.
I do not want to be stuck on material items yet I want to define my character on different elements beyond material supplies. I cluster my emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects unto one huge segment. The ideal Annalesha would be able to connect with individuals on a level that is far beyond how they look, act, or their origin. Being able to talk to individuals on a level that Oprah, Dr. Phil, Barack Obama, and many other influential beings connect with people on. I know that becoming this ideal person is achievable, yet it will take more growth and more influences from individuals who have reached this goal.
I believe that surrounding yourself around individuals who you desire to replicate, will allow you to get closer to your ideal self. If I was able to become this ideal person, my satisfaction level would rise, yet I would not be completely satisfied. Once I achieve one goal, I look for the next goal to achieve. It is a never ending cycle for me; I want to continue to achieve goals that I have for myself, never limiting my achievement levels. I have learned that my goals differ extremely from the goals that others may have for me. Many of my close friends believe that I should be a person who is dependent on others.
I understand to grow, I need to network with individuals and open myself to individuals who have more experience that I may ever have. I do not think I can become this individual (being) that other individuals want me to become. I have been raised to work hard to earn the things that I want. In analyzing my ought self, I would have to abandon my major belief system that I have been raised to adhere to. If I were to become the individual others would want me to become, my satisfaction level would plummet to a level that may be impossible to recover from.
We have heard it, when others live a life for others; they end up having many esteem and personality issues. I will continue to avoid living the idealistic life that others to avoid the major disappointment that others have encountered. I believe that over time and with continued drive, I will be able to achieve my ideal self. Being able to achieve my idealistic self will take continued support and networking with individuals who I believed have achieved my idea of ideal self. I am a firm believer that anyone can achieve their sense of ideal self, if they correctly structure and plan it accordingly.
On the other hand, achieving ought self is something that I want to avoid. It would require me to restructure a belief system that has taken me years to define and more years to redefine. With proper planning, which I will discuss in the next section, I will be able to achieve the ideal self while avoiding the concept of ought self. My major self-discrepancies include being over-analytical, under validation of opinions’ of others, and being unsatisfied with the successes that I have accomplished in my life.
Using the chart (listed below) and continuing to monitor this on a daily basis in my bedroom, I will be able to increase my self-esteem but most of all my self-awareness that I have in my daily life. On a weekly basis, I will work to achieve one of my discrepancies. Examples are listed below. Day| Activity| Goal Achieved| Step To Ideal Self| 9/5/10| Went Camping| Trying something new for the first time| Continuing to work on being over-analytical| 9/6/10| Focus Group| Getting the opinion of others before making a decision| Validation of others opinions|